Monday, September 19, 2011

The Plans I Have for You: One Girl's Story of Trust, Change, and Choices

{by Rebekah Kimminau}

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. 

 A year ago, I thought I had my future all figured out. I was going to graduate high school, and then head straight off to a 3 month long nanny school in Ohio. From there I was going to nanny overseas, or for some rich and famous person. Then I would meet my husband, fall in love, and have the large family I had always dreamed about. I was sure this was the plan God had for me. I was excited. Just the thought of my future exhilarated me. I knew what was going to happen, and I was happy.

Yet really, I wasn’t as happy as I thought. Each time I would tell someone of my plans, I would get this little twinge at my heart. Looking back, I am sure it was God speaking to me. And at the time, I was pretty sure it was Him. But I just kept pushing God down, away from my plans. After all they were MY plans, for MY future. I had a passions for what I wanted to do. How could God ever make me think that it wasn’t right? For months and months I pushed down the feelings. I felt Him telling me that nanny school was not where He wanted me to go. But I just kept on with my life. Tried not to give the feelings a second thought. And actually, I did a pretty good job. Until October of 2010.

I was at an all girl’s retreat down in Georgia. All week I had been praying for peace and wisdom about my future. Yet I had gotten neither (or at least so I thought). It was the second to last night and one of the women was giving a talk about how God changed her plans in life. We had had an amazing worship time that night, and I felt really close to God, ready and willing to hear all He wanted to say. As the woman started talking, I felt God talking through her. I listened intently to her story, and all the while was like “Oh, that’s nice, I wonder if God will ever change my plans.” Sure enough, about 5 minutes later, I heard God saying loud and clear that I was not going to go to nanny school. That wasn’t His plan for me. I was crushed, defeated. That had been my hope, my dream, my future. And it had all been ripped away from me in a matter of minutes. I felt lost. But over the rest of her talk, as I came to reckon with myself that God had a plan, one far better then mine, I started to question again. If nannying wasn’t where God wanted me, where did He?

I continued to ask myself just that after I left the retreat and for the next few weeks. I found things hard enough having to come home and tell everyone I knew that I was no longer going to nanny school. But I also had to tell them that I had no idea what I was going to do now. It was a hard few weeks. I was praying and crying out to God because I did not understand why He had done this. I was hurt, I was upset, I was mad that He had changed my perfect plans. Alll the while I knew I had brought this upon myself. If only I had not ignored those feeling from the God in the first place, I probably wouldn’t have gone through all of this pain. But life is full of “if only’s” and we can’t go back and change a single one. But I could do it right the next time. (Or at least try.) 

Over the next few months, my mom really helped me be at peace. I felt God telling me to wait. And though that was very, very hard for an extremely type A person like me, I wanted to listen to Him. I knew His plan was the best, and so I waited. And what I got in return for trusting Him was extraordinary. He gave me immeasurable peace over the next few months. I really didn’t research any career. I worked hard at school and continued on with my daily life.

Finally, God told me what He wanted me to do. I don't remember an exact date or time, I just remember feeling complete peace over a career I was considering. Then over and over things kept pointing towards that career. (The career by the way, is nursing.) as I started to talk to people and explore nursing, I felt God telling me to get a two-year nursing degree, though everyone I asked told me to get a 4 year. This time around, I was ready to listen to God. As of right now I am actively looking into two-year colleges. I am at peace with God, and with my future. If God should decide to tell me to go down a different path, I am more then happy to follow His leading. 

Though the last year of my life has come with many challenges, I would not change any of it. God brought me through trials, and taught me what it means to trust Him fully with not only the small decisions, but also the big ones. God knows the plans He has for me, and they are plans to prosper, and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future [Jer 29:11]. I am 100% sure of that.

About Rebekah: I am a 17 year old girl who, strives everyday to live for the Lord. I don’t always live in Him, but I try. I have been home schooled all of my life, and I am an Air Force Brat. I have move 9 times in my life. I am the oldest of four, and I absolutely adore my family. I have had a passion for babies and children ever since I was little, and I spend most of my time babysitting. I currently live in the DC area.
What is your story? How has trusting the Lord been a factor in your decision of what to do after high school or college?


  1. The Lord has really impressed upon me that I should keep busy in these post-high school days. A busy mind is a mind at peace. The Lord has also shown me and my parents that this is the time to exercise my gifts for His glory. It may be that one day I'll be a wife and mother, and I won't have the time to write as much as I do now - so I need to take advantage of this time to exercise that.

    But when rubber meets the road - as I watch friends go to college while I stay at home, when I wonder if I'm really doing the smartest thing - I simply have to trust that God has me right where He wants me. If He moves me elsewhere, then so be it - but until He makes that absolutely clear to both myself and my dad through His Word, then I must always strive for contentment right where I am.

  2. Rebekah, that is so encouraging.
    This summer I experienced a similar encounter. Having graduated (highschool)I was going to start getting certifications (biblical counseling, cosmetology, personal training, wedding planning, aerobics instructor--yes, all of them). I believed this is what God had for me. Honestly I did. I believe He have called me to have a ministry, someday, for young women helping them be beautiful from the inside out and these were all things that I thought would prepare me. However, as the days rolled on Mom approached with another, completely different, idea and I also became more and more confused and uneasy about MY plans. Finally, at a 2 week dance intensive in MS I broke. I broke into the hand of God with all my anger and frustration and disappointment and He picked up all the shattered pieces and put them back together. And you know what happened next?! I experienced the most incredible peace as I chose to trust Him.
    I am now helping my father run his business and get it going while starting one of my own, mentoring two young women, teaching dance, and playing harp as much as I can stand. Before breaking, none of these were on MY radar (they were on my mom's though--and God's) but I can see now that this IS where God has me. But, I have to admit sometimes it's still hard to walk this path that is so contrary to what I had THOUGHT was His will for me.