Don't Be That Girl #2: The Mother Hen

On the other end is a guy pulling his hair
out because she won't stop texting him...

{by Michael Vuke}

If you missed Part 1 of the "Don't Be That Girl" series where Michael warns about the frightening and frumpy Catlady, be sure to check it out here!

Part 2: The Mother Hen

If the Catlady was avoided because she didn’t want to interact with guys, the Mother Hen is the complete opposite. However, this girl is one that most sane men go out of their way to avoid whenever possible. The Mother Hen obsessively clings to her guy friends and constantly pries into their lives and activities. She is over-protective and sensitive about ‘her guys’—don’t say anything remotely bad about one or her wrath will descend upon you. The Mother Hen puts the ‘mothering’ into ‘smothering’. 

How do you know if you are one?  Do you feel left out or slighted if your friends do not tell you every detail of their day? Are you constantly texting your friends with questions like: “Who are you talking to?” “What are you talking about?” “Where are you?” “Who are you with?” Can you describe your relationship with several guys as “a big sister”? If you answered yes to any of these, you may be well on your way to becoming a Mother Hen.

Why do we care?

We already have one mother—we don’t need another. It is frustratingly annoying to constantly be subjected to questions and inquiries; plus, it shows an alarming lack of security on the lady’s part. As with any relationship, we like balanced, mutual conversations where both parties can tell the other one what they want in as much detail as they want—Mother Hen’s turn it into an interrogation. After a while, it starts to feel like a parasitic relationship instead of a friendship. Plus, these are almost impossible to end. You try to cut back, but the Mother Hen just won’t stop. You run away, and she runs beside you. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

Contrast the Mother Hen to the Caring Friend. A Caring Friend wants to know what is happening in your life, and asks. However, they know their boundaries—they aren’t pushy or intrusive; they simply are interested in what happens to you. While they enjoy hanging out with you, a Caring Friend isn’t clingy, and they will never expect you to dedicate all of your time to being with them, or to update them when you are doing something without them. A Mother Hen often times acts the way she does because she is insecure about herself and needs constant stimulation from someone else. A Caring Friend acts the way she does because she cares about what happens to her friends.

How do you keep yourself from becoming a Mother Hen? Comment below!

 

Michael Vuke loves hanging out with friends, but he also likes having quiet time by himself to think and reflect. Whether he is driving down a backroad, making music with friends, or reading a book at home, if an idea hits him, he is known to drop everything and write until he has captured the inspiration. What inspires you? Tweet it out to him @WriteandDream! Michael blogs about what inspires him at michaelvuke.wordpress.com