Don't Be That Girl #4 & 5: The Perfect One and the Day Time TV Guest

{Michael Vuke}

If you haven't read part one, two, or three in the "Don't Be That Girl" series, go back and read them now!

What do you mean 'emotion'?
Life isn't always perpetually bland
and perfect for you?

Part Four: The Perfect One and the Day Time TV Guest 

The last two types really go together, as different as they are; they are opposite ends on the spectrum of transparency. First up, there is the perfect girl.

Yep, guys avoid “Perfect Girls”. How do you know if you are the Perfect One? If you never show any emotion except for happiness and contentment even when your life is going down the tubes, you are the perfect girl. When you are at a close friend’s funeral, someone tries to comfort you, and your response is: “I’m fine. I don’t need to talk about it.” You are the perfect girl.

Perfect girls never get sad or lonely; they are self-sufficient and happy with their lives (but not really). On the inside, they are hurting and lonely; they experience emotions just like everybody else. Unlike everyone else though, they are ‘too strong’ to let it show. They put on a big happy mask and live a façade. They are a Barbie Doll personified.

Why do we care?

Guys avoid Perfect Girls because you can’t get to know them--there are too many walls in place for any sort of meaningful relationship to develop. Perfect Girls are always hiding something and refusing to trust others with anything, but trust is vital to a friendship. Even if a guy can’t fix your problem, some would be glad to just listen. No one likes being lied to and being given a plastic mannequin for a friend, so we avoid them altogether.

Well, if we avoid Perfect Girls because they never show any emotion or any of the struggles they are experiencing, we must flock to girls who have lots of problems, right? 

No comment necessary.

That brings us to the final type (for now) of girl that guys avoid. The Day-time Talk Show Guest. If you have ever seen an episode of Maury or Jerry Springer, you know exactly what I’m talking about. These girls have more issues than Time magazine, and they flaunt them. As soon as you meet one, you are overwhelmed with information about their problems, emotions, and friend’s problems.

How can you tell if you are one? If you are having a bad day, do you go around wailing and sobbing uncontrollably, clutching the nearest friend for comfort? If you are mad, do you rant to anyone around about that backstabbing little jerk who dared to wear the same shirt as you? If you are one of these girls, whatever you feel, think, or hear will quickly change your mood and get dumped all over your nearest acquaintance. These girls often suffer from the medical condition known as Dramaticus Queeninitus.

Why do we care?

Do I even have to answer this one? Yeah…..no. This isn’t just guys—this is everyone. No one wants to be constantly subjected to every mood swing or bad thing that happens to you. Everyone has some junk in their lives, and we don’t mind listening or helping you remove that junk, but we also aren’t garbage disposals. We have stuff going on in our own lives. Plus, if you are that sort of girl, we can’t entrust any personal details to you, for fear that it would trigger a mood swing or that you would cry/rant/beam about it to your next friend.

Compare those last two girls (the Perfect One and the Day-time TV guest) to the Honest One. This lady isn’t afraid to be real about her life and whatever is happening, but she also knows when the appropriate time and place is to divulge personal information. She is accessible without baring her soul to everyone that walks by. The Honest One also knows what information should be shared with her guy friends, and what information should be reserved for her lady friends. She is balanced, which is something that every girl on the list of girls that guys like has in common. While there is wide variety in personalities, from quiet to adventurous, they all have some form of balance to their lives.

There you have it: 5 types of girls that guys avoid (and 4 types of girls that we like!). I say this on behalf of men everywhere: Please, don’t be that girl.

What are your thoughts on these last two types of girls? Comment below!

Michael Vuke doesn’t want to be that girl. In fact, he rather likes being a guy! He strives to become a well-rounded man, and so is pursuing his varying interests from fashion to camping to learning Japanese. Have any questions about guys/for guys? Tweet it out to @WriteandDream and it may get answered in an article! Michael blogs about his discoveries at michaelvuke.wordpress.com.

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Don't Be That Girl #3: The Crazy One

At this point we are frantically running
for the door.

{by Michael Vuke}

There are a lot of articles out there telling what sort of girl you should be to attract guys; equally important, however, is knowing the type of girl that guys avoid. Here I’ll lay out for you five basic types of girls that we guys avoid like the plague. So far we've covered the Catlady-in-training and the Mother Hen. Please, for all of our sakes, don’t be these girls.

Part 3: The Crazy One

Next on the list of feared and avoided women is the Crazy One. You never know what the Crazy One will do next—one minute she is complaining that you never are serious, the next she is trying to chug a 2-liter. Relient K based their song ‘Mood Rings’ off of her. She has no concept of restraint or inhibitions and will do anything on a dare. Her favorite perfume is “Eau de la Red Flag”.

How do you know if you are the Crazy One?

If people around you eye you warily while laughing at your latest antic, you might be this girl. Do people dare you to do things constantly? Whenever you come out in public, do your friends all whip out their cameras in hopes of catching the next viral video? Do people ask you to speak quieter a lot?

Why do we care?

There are two main reasons: 1. It’s embarrassing to be around someone who at any given moment could jump up on the table and start belting out “Make ‘Em Laugh” from Singing in the Rain (or worse yet, the latest Ke$ha song) 2. We are scared to be around them. Someone who is that unpredictable and crazy usually has emotional issues and could turn on you in a second. It’s kind of like playing hot potato with a hand grenade; however fun it might be at the time, everyone is a little afraid that it will kill them.

The Crazy One would like you to think that she is a different girl. She would like you to think she is the Adventurous One, but there are major differences. The Adventurous One is amazing; she embraces life in all its twists and turns, and seeks to find the wonder in life. She is not foolhardy, nor reckless, but the Adventurous One is also not afraid to take risks. She is not afraid to have fun and do random things, but she can also be serious and strategic when it is appropriate.  The Crazy One makes us want to go away, but the Adventurous One makes us want to join them in their escapades.

What do you do for adventure? Comment below!

Michael Vuke likes to think of himself as an explorer, discovering new things in the world and internally. He has a list of things to do before he gets old, boring, or 30, and is always trying to come up with ways to make daily life interesting. Got any cool ways to spice up your life? Tweet it out to him @WriteandDream. Michael blogs about his discoveries at michaelvuke.wordpress.com.

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Don't Be That Girl #2: The Mother Hen

On the other end is a guy pulling his hair
out because she won't stop texting him...

{by Michael Vuke}

If you missed Part 1 of the "Don't Be That Girl" series where Michael warns about the frightening and frumpy Catlady, be sure to check it out here!

Part 2: The Mother Hen

If the Catlady was avoided because she didn’t want to interact with guys, the Mother Hen is the complete opposite. However, this girl is one that most sane men go out of their way to avoid whenever possible. The Mother Hen obsessively clings to her guy friends and constantly pries into their lives and activities. She is over-protective and sensitive about ‘her guys’—don’t say anything remotely bad about one or her wrath will descend upon you. The Mother Hen puts the ‘mothering’ into ‘smothering’. 

How do you know if you are one?  Do you feel left out or slighted if your friends do not tell you every detail of their day? Are you constantly texting your friends with questions like: “Who are you talking to?” “What are you talking about?” “Where are you?” “Who are you with?” Can you describe your relationship with several guys as “a big sister”? If you answered yes to any of these, you may be well on your way to becoming a Mother Hen.

Why do we care?

We already have one mother—we don’t need another. It is frustratingly annoying to constantly be subjected to questions and inquiries; plus, it shows an alarming lack of security on the lady’s part. As with any relationship, we like balanced, mutual conversations where both parties can tell the other one what they want in as much detail as they want—Mother Hen’s turn it into an interrogation. After a while, it starts to feel like a parasitic relationship instead of a friendship. Plus, these are almost impossible to end. You try to cut back, but the Mother Hen just won’t stop. You run away, and she runs beside you. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

Contrast the Mother Hen to the Caring Friend. A Caring Friend wants to know what is happening in your life, and asks. However, they know their boundaries—they aren’t pushy or intrusive; they simply are interested in what happens to you. While they enjoy hanging out with you, a Caring Friend isn’t clingy, and they will never expect you to dedicate all of your time to being with them, or to update them when you are doing something without them. A Mother Hen often times acts the way she does because she is insecure about herself and needs constant stimulation from someone else. A Caring Friend acts the way she does because she cares about what happens to her friends.

How do you keep yourself from becoming a Mother Hen? Comment below!

 

Michael Vuke loves hanging out with friends, but he also likes having quiet time by himself to think and reflect. Whether he is driving down a backroad, making music with friends, or reading a book at home, if an idea hits him, he is known to drop everything and write until he has captured the inspiration. What inspires you? Tweet it out to him @WriteandDream! Michael blogs about what inspires him at michaelvuke.wordpress.com

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Don't Be That Girl: Five Types of Girls That Guys Avoid

{by Michael Vuke}

There are a lot of articles out there telling what sort of girl you should be to attract guys; equally important, however, is knowing the type of girl that guys avoid. Here I’ll lay out for you five basic types of girls that we guys avoid like the plague. Please, for all of our sakes, don’t be these girls.

Not this Catwoman... but we'd probably also
avoid you if you dressed up like this...

Part 1: The Catlady-in-Training


First on the list is the Catlady-in-training; I’m talking about the lady that owns 30 cats and only comes out of her home to buy groceries and cat food. These women are obvious to everyone else, but how can you tell if you are a catlady-in-training?

If you find yourself at a pet store staring longingly at cats, even though you are allergic to cat hair, that’s a warning sign. If you start spending all your free time curled up in a corner at home by yourself, watch out! Catladies don’t care about their appearance and generally devolve from normal women into frumpy, unkempt, anti-social hermits over a period of years, so taking care of yourself is a vital step to fight this tragic metamorphosis. Make sure you meet basic hygienic standards. And if you ever, ever find yourself recording an e-harmony video and unable to stop talking about cats, seek professional help.

Why do we care?

It’s hard to meet a catlady, because she spends most of her time at home, but when she does come out, guys avoid her because she is a little crazed. She silently slips through a room, avoiding eye contact by keeping her tangled hair down in her face, and find the darkest, furthest removed corner of the room to sit in. If you are making that much effort to avoid others, we are going to avoid you. We are also a little afraid that you might hiss at us if we try to initiate a conversation! (Also, dogs are way cooler than cats.)

Compare the Catlady to the Thinker. The Thinker is quiet, but while she is introspective, she does not mind talking to people. The Thinker does not let herself go; even if her outfits or make up aren’t in-your-face, they still show foresight and an eye towards being presentable. This lady has a tender, caring heart, and anyone who takes the time to talk to her will be blessed. Our society seems to have something against quiet people, but there is nothing wrong with being quiet as long as you don’t become a recluse.

One down, four to go! Next time we look at a highly feared and avoided type of girl; the Mother Hen.

Are you a Catlady-in-Training? Have you ever been? Share below!

 

Michael Vuke is a rambler. Talk to him for very long, and you’ll find that the conversation flows from one topic to another, anywhere from the latest movies to ancient history to spirituality—and that’s just the way he likes it. He believes you have more fun if you deviate from the original plan and wander about a bit. You can follow him on Twitter @WriteandDream and is preparing to launch his own blog at  michaelvuke.wordpress.com. Got a question for him about guys and girls? Comment below or tweet it out and it might show up in an article!

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