My Call to Go

{By Beth Roose}

I have been called to GO by the Master Designer of the universe. I will step out in faith and I will walk with joy the path set out for me.  When I fail to see the road or become discouraged in my own accomplishments, I will praise my God because He is perfect.  He is the embodiment of love and faithfulness.  Although I may not always be able to see the path, I know that He can.  Therefore, I will never stop pushing ahead, because I know that right beside me Jesus is guiding my every step.

As I go, I will strive to mirror my Companion in everything that I do; in the words I speak, and the words I don’t, as well as in the way that I listen.  This is not just because I am called to “Go and do likewise” or that I want to impress my Heavenly Father by the fact that I can keep up with His perfect Son, but because I LOVE Jesus with my entire being.   I look up to Him and treasure every second that He has spent with me—so much so that I want to show Him to others.  By reflecting His image, I hope that they may encounter and acknowledge this amazing God that I serve.

Moving forward in my race, I realize more and more that because I am a disciple of Christ – chosen by Him before the creation of the world—I must not only “make disciples of all nations,” but I must also help others begin their own race; teaching them about the unmatchable God that they serve, and helping them build their faith in a perfectly faithful God, so that they will not fear to step out when they are called.  Even though their faith may be small it can move mountains.

Finally, I run my race in peace.  I am not my own.  I was bought with a price that I cannot fathom.   Because of this great sacrifice, given for me, I am FREE.  By grace I now live.   Knowing that it is Jesus guiding my every step, I run my race in peace.  I now find my joy and passion in Him.  I fear nothing.  He is always by my side and I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  May I never forget this amazing love that has been poured out for me.

And now that I have told you all this, will you Go?  Or are you going to pause and count the costs?  But if you won’t go now, when will you go?

You have been called by the Master Designer of the universe, just as I have. So step out in faith and go somewhere.  Follow Christ’s lead and do as He does. Go and make disciples.  Most importantly go in peace, knowing that if God is for you who can come against you—and I promise you, God is definitely for you.

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Actual Real Truths from the Mouth of a Nine Year Old

photography credit: rachel coker

{By Rachel Coker}


It’s funny the life lessons you can learn from your younger siblings. I think, as an oldest child, I always tend to assume that I’m the one who has it all together. I’m supposed to be the example of godliness and humility, and they are supposed to be following me. But, more times than not, I continually find myself humbled and awed by the godly attitudes of my nine and fourteen-year-old sisters that stand out in stark contrast to my own selfishness.

Case in point: My nine-year-old sister Ruthie did something really brave this year. She auditioned for a part in a play. Now, to understand how truly jaw-dropping and astonishing this is, you sort of have to get an idea as to her past history of acting. When she was a toddler, we tried to get her to sing on stage with the other kids at church. She would not have it. Like, seriously, not have it at all. She would cry and hide her face and refuse to stand in front of anyone. She wouldn’t even look people in the face. And it didn’t get much better as she got older. Up until about a year ago, she still refused to do anything that involved words coming out of her mouth while someone else was listening.

But then it all changed. Because, a few months ago, Ruthie found out about a part in an upcoming play that she really wanted. It’s funny, too, because the role that she was pining after was this really spunky nurse with whole lotta attitude to spare. Which may not seem like something that would appeal to a stage-shy nine-year-old kid, but whatever. Ruthie wanted it. She talked about getting that part all the time. She prayed about auditioning, and babbled on and on about what she would wear if she got to play the nurse, and memorized all of the nurse’s lines before she even auditioned. She even talked to the director and offered her old hospital scrubs as a costume for Nurse Zelda.

There was only one problem. Her best friend wanted that role, too.

Here is where things would have gotten really sticky for me. Because I remember those days of auditioning and praying so hard for a part that I thought my head would burst. So I remember casually asking before prayer one morning, “Don’t you really hope you get the part? Do you want us to pray that the director would pick you instead of (your friend)?”

I’ll never forget what Ruthie said after that, because it made all our mouths drop and minds spin. She just shrugged and said, “I just want her to pick whoever she thinks is going to be good for the part. It doesn’t matter to me. She can still use my nurse’s costume even if (my friend) gets the part.”

In the end, I think we all were shamed by our nine-year-old sister. All of us, me included, were so caught up in our excitement and competiveness and desire for Ruthie to succeed, that we forgot about what was really important. And that is that the director needs to choose whoever would be best for the part, and no one needed to be disappointed or upset about it.

In the end, Ruthie got the role of Nurse Zelda. And her best friend got another fantastic part, and they’re both really happy and enjoy running over their lines together. But despite the fact that Ruthie is coming out of her shell, and gaining confidence to speak in front of people, I think that I’m the one who really learned a life lesson through all of this.

Too often, I ask God for my wants and my desires to be fulfilled. I get so caught up in planning out my life and future, and deciding what I think would be good for me, that I forget to leave things up to Him. If God is the director of my life, than He already knows what role He wants me for. And it’s not going to be helpful to Him if I’m pouty and jealous that someone else is getting to do what I always dreamed of. It took my littlest sister’s unselfish attitude to remind me that it’s best when I can just say, “God, cast me in whatever role you’d like. I want to serve you in the best way that I can, and only you know how that would be. Just make me useful to you.” It may be difficult sometimes to give up the things I want, but my hope is that with this as my prayer, I’ll be able to do the absolute best job at whatever role I get in the grand scheme of God’s perfect will.

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Guy's Perspective: Beautiful

{By Anonymous}

Taylor Swift. Carrie Underwood. Kate Upton. Kim Kardashian. Colbie Callait. Pop culture produces almost as many airbrushed female celebrities (and apparently a fascination with country stars) as it does terms to describe their physique. Chick. Hot. Doll. Sexy. Nothing short of perfection portrayed or admired. Flaws minimized or surgically addressed. Hundreds of thousands of dollars every year for one person’s outer appearance. Body has become god.

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ This antique cliché rears its head time and again, in every genre of life. But it almost universally accompanies some variable. ‘You really failed that last test at school.’ I need to study harder for the next one. ‘That outfit looks horrendous.’ Note to self: plaid shorts and striped tops do not go together. ‘Holy crap you shoot worse than my grandma.” I can practice kicking with the inside of my good instead of the toe.

‘You’re ugly.’ Suddenly, the variable skipped town. 

I cannot change my body absent unnatural intervention. How am I supposed to change how I look? Do I layer makeup? Do I hide behind designer clothing? How can I solve a problem I was born with? The words that could never hurt me just broke my heart. 

Regardless of the origin, self-inflicted or external, words that cut to the unchangeable core of existence hurt. They scar. They stare blankly, constant reminders of what I wish I could attain, but never will. I don’t live on a bird’s diet. I don’t have a full staff of dressing assistants. I don’t have curves like a Kardashian or hair like Rihanna (though she’s GOT to be close to exhausting the realms of the color palette). I don’t attract guys like flies to honey. I’m not on the cover of People Magazine. I’m me; plain, ordinary me. Unlovely and unloved. What did I do to get stuck with myself in the first place?

Denying the reality of this internal conflict – and of its external results that quickly become far too obvious – would be shallow and inappropriate. The pain, the hurt, the self-deprivation is far too real. I do not write to say the struggle does not exist, I write to say it shouldn’t.

‘Congratulations, writer!’, you say. ‘You have wasted nearly an entire page and five minutes of my time to tell me something that I already know. I know I shouldn’t worship my body. I know I shouldn’t be obsessed with reality. But ‘should’ is not reality. I can’t do it.

To borrow a weakly humorous phrase, ‘nothing is impossible. The word itself includes ‘possible.'' Escape presents a difficult road, but one that promises freedom from bondage to the deity of Body. Accepting who I am and living content in that fact is not a method tried and found wanting, but a lifestyle found publicly difficult and left untried. Do I honestly fool myself enough to believe those airbrushed figurines on magazine covers are happy? Do I honestly believe they have it made? Celebrity marriages do not last an average of three weeks for no reason. After three weeks, the thrill is gone; the emotional high; the searching for meaning. Even in their mansions with ‘friends,’ money and a perfect body, they still feel insecure. Because they wonder what would happen if they ever became less than perfect.

Body is a demanding god. It is also a treacherous one. It demands your entire focus, devotion and life, then abandons. Attachment to such a deity is not service. It is slavery. At the point where we submit to Body, our desires become insatiable. Nothing fulfills us. Perfection remains just one tuck, nip or trim away. Perfection means skipping one more meal, wearing one size smaller waist, weighing one less pound. Perfection never arrives.

You are beautiful for who you are. The bodies of airbrushed stars are just that, airbrushed. Unreal. Contrived. Those celebrities will never maintain their appearance; you shouldn’t try to reach it.

Those entities (the inhuman term used purposely) who call you ugly, who criticize your appearance, who condemn your being, are not worth your time. Don’t maintain friendships with entities who see your physique and nothing more. Their shallowness, their insincerity makes their ‘friendship’ status a liability to you. Lose it.

True friends go deeper than the skin, than the makeup or the designer brands. They see you for who you really are. They see your soul. They see your compassion, your dedication, your love, your being. Individuals truly worthy of your friendship will affirm your beauty, not because of how you look, but because of who you are. Looks change. Being rarely does. Surround yourself with people who love you, with people think you look pretty without your makeup on.         

To those of you who are surrounded by true friends, but refuse to accept yourself for who you are, know that what you think never changes the truth. Culture worships Body. Remind me the last time culture got some life issue right? Oh. Yeah. Never. I urge you to rise above the storm, see yourself in new eyes. See yourself deeper than your skin. Realize all the ones who love you. Believe that you are beautiful. You are.

Ultimately, every single one of us goes to the same place: assisted living wearing diapers (again) rocking open back gowns as top fashion (ICU) and eating all meals in mush form (also a repeat from 70-some years ago). In the final analysis, Body cannot deliver on its promise. It claims to make you beautiful; it only subjects you to unbearable loads. It offers societal acceptance; the ‘society’ that accepts you on the condition of Body is no society worth participation.

You are beautiful for who you are. You are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful because your being goes beyond the paltry two millimeters of skin covering your body. You are beautiful for what you feel and how you love. True friends recognize this in you. Best friends affirm it and stand as constant reminders so you never lose sight of who you truly are.

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A Severe Mercy

{By Taylor Eckel}

No book had ever made me cry. When I read A Severe Mercy, I wept.

Although the story centers around the life of Vanauken and Davy, the themes in the book transcend their personal story, and even their lives. From the beginning of their relationship, the Vanaukens deliberately cultivated a very thorough paradigm of love, beauty, truth, and longing for eternity that underwent a major evolution after their individual conversions to Christianity. “We saw self as the ultimate danger to love, which it is; we didn’t see it as the ultimate evil of hell, which it also is,” Vanauken writes about their pre-conversion worldview.

Vanauken’s story is much more philosophical than a typical autobiography, yet his narrative is anything but dry. The eloquent prose reflects his background as a literature professor and an amateur poet. Throughout the book he lapses into the third person to convey his thoughts, abstracting himself from his ideas in a way that allows the readers to easily follow his reasoning. This detached treatment of ideas provides contrast to his personal struggle to internalize those ideas, and ultimately, to surrender himself to God.

A few years into their marriage, the Vaunakens moved to Oxford for Sheldon’s studies. Their time close acquaintance with a group of serious Christians there inspired them to study the faith they had previously rejected. They greatly admired the work of C.S. Lewis, and “on an impulse” Sheldon wrote to Lewis about his struggle to accept Christianity. Their subsequent correspondence was instrumental in Vanauken’s conversion, after which Lewis became a trusted mentor and lifelong friend, and they maintained a lively correspondence even after the Vanaukens returned to America. Many of the letters Sheldon received from C.S. Lewis are interspersed throughout the latter half of the book, and provide Lewis’s characteristic depth of wisdom.

After the Vanaukens returned to America, Sheldon struggled with the realization that their love must be subject to Christ. Early in their relationship and prior to their conversion, the Vanaukens described their love for each other as the Shining Barrier--  “It was our love itself, made strong within” that was their ultimate good and would transcend even death. After their conversion it pained Vanauken to see his wife following Christ above her love for him.

“I didn’t want us to be swallowed up in God,” he wrote, “I wanted holidays from the school of Christ. We should, somehow, be able to have the Shining Barrier intact and follow the King of Glory. I didn’t want to be a saint. Almost none of this did I consciously know– just longings. But for Davy, to live was Christ.”

Vanauken’s struggle is the universal struggle of all Christians attempting to live out Matthew 16:24, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Vanauken’s frank disclosure of his idolatry shocked me. But I was not so shocked by his sentiment, but by the realization that his words resonated with something deep within me. Convicted, I cried over the unsurrendered loves in my own heart.

“God in His ample love embraced our love with, it may be, a sort of tenderness, and we must tread the Way to Him hand in hand,” Vanauken writes. But God did not intend for Sheldon and Davy to tread hand in hand for very long. Recalling Davy’s illness and death, Vanauken writes of himself, “He had had– was having-- all the sorrow there was. And yet, the joy was worth the pain.”

I cried again when I read of the joy in pain, the hope of life everlasting in Christ, and the depths of Vanauken’s devotion to his wife.

Lewis was instrumental in helping Vanauken understand the goodness of God in Davy’s death. The richness of their correspondence after her death– pondering God’s goodness, musing about eternity– was refreshing after the emotional intensity of Vanauken’s loss. The book’s title comes from a letter from Lewis, who described Davy’s death as a “severe mercy” from God.

The strength of Vanauken’s faith is remarkable. He writes, “I cannot escape the impression that Somebody was being very gentle with us. Perhaps she had to die– for me, for our dear love, for God.” Elsewhere he reflects, “...it was for me, despite grief and aloneness, worth it.”

I wept again, praying for a faith that could say– no matter the trials it endured– “it was for me, worth it.”

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That Saved A Realist Like Me

{By Hailey Sadler}

The whole “is-the-glass-half-empty-or-half-full” dilemma sort of confused me as a child. When posed with it, I would always answer “half full” because that seemed to be the right answer. Anyway it seemed like the better, happier option compared to being labeled a pessimist, which always conjured up images of wet blankets and bitter old men. Secretly, though, my water-in-the-cup philosophy is more along the lines of, Ok, we’ve established that there is water in a cup, now can we please move on??

I guess I could be considered somewhat of a realist.

An interesting term, “realist” usually just means a cynic or pessimist who enjoys patting themselves on the back for the pleasing ability to accurately perceive objective reality. Poor, deluded optimists and idealists, they sniff. Yes, realists can be really obnoxious [see picture to the right!]. But that is not the point. The point is they are right. Reality is depressing, and if you view the world from a realist perspective you quickly become closely akin to the cynic and the pessimist for that very reason. Because what is reality? Reality is truth.

And the truth of our world does not tend towards the encouragement of optimism.

The truth is Americans who are obese [approximately 1 in 3 children in the U.S. are obese] and Nigerians who are malnourished [there are 5.75 million underweight children in Nigeria]; the truth is sickening injustices that create multitudes of “causes” and less action, chaos and turmoil, governmental abuse, corruption, economic uncertainty. The truth is culture that is seriously messed up in so many ways. It’s a world where the GDP of the 48 poorest nations is less than the combined wealth of the world’s 3 richest people. It’s a world of red lights when you want to text and Facebook statuses that make you want to cry (or gag) because of the sheer narcissism. As Big Daddy from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof would say, “The truth is pain and sweat and payin’ bills…. Truth is dreams that don’t come true, and nobody prints your name in the paper ‘til you die.”

If that was all there is to it, I think my tendency towards “realism” would make me want to pour a pack of Kool-Aid in that half-full-half-empty glass and be done with it.

But that is only one dimension of reality.

Because what is reality? Reality is Truth. Truth is the thread weaving this tangled mess we call reality into a perfect product God calls His plan. The Truth is that there is something higher than this world, bigger than all the evil, greater than ourselves, something we only snatch glimpses of, a breath of light when the clouds shift, and parting, for a moment we catch sight of heaven. It is the reality of a higher reality: God Who sees purpose where we see only pointless pain, God Who wrote the end of the story for us all to read, and Who is coming back. For us.

It is that that makes the stark circumstances of this world around me bearable. Even more than that, it makes life fully worth living, if only to catch those occasional glimpses of that higher reality, higher Truth that dovetails and completes the truth we know and weaves us all together – pessimist, realist, optimist, idealist – in His incomprehensively perfect plan. 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. 

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Evaluating A Suitor - Thoughts to Consider from an Older Sister

{by Katrina Rebsch}

As those of you who follow this blog might know, God has recently brought into my life a most amazing young man and we are engaged to be married!  Words cannot even begin to describe the sheer joy that has characterized this new season of love and discovery with the one for whom I have been waiting and praying all these years. 

In recent weeks, I received an email from the mother of some good friends who asked me to consider writing for the benefit of other girls what I’ve learned when it comes to evaluating a potential suitor; questions to ask to get to know him, and qualities to look for in his life.  While I am certainly no expert on the matter of guy-girl relationships, I have had quite a bit of experience this past year and a half with the evaluation process as various “interested” young men have entered and exited my life.

What I hope to do in this article is simply share what I have learned along the way and give some older-sister encouragement to those of you who are still waiting for your own Prince Charming.

Before we even get to the guy however, let’s talk about you, the girl!

Thought to Ponder #1 - God is the Author of the Best Love Stories Ever! 

Marriage, love, romance, sacrifice - these are all His ideas and His inventions.  Novelists and screen-writers don’t even come close to capturing the breath-taking beauty of a true love story scripted by the Creator of the universe.  I enjoy reading a sweet romance or watching a wholesome chick flick as much as any girl, but no human can come close to writing a story like God can!  So the question is, are you committed to His story for your life, or your own? 

I have seen what can happen when a young lady grows desperate and takes matters into her own hands, running after anyone who will notice her and throwing values to the wind as she seeks immediate gratification on her quest for love and attention.  There is great sorrow and heartache.  Manipulating people and circumstances to try to write one’s own love story is not the way to happily ever after.  Only when the pen is yielded to God and fulfillment sought in Him is true joy experienced.  But of course, happiness is not the goal; glorifying the Lord is!  And He is glorified when we are satisfied in Him, yielded and obedient to His will, and content to wait for His timing in the romance department. 

Thought to Ponder #2 - Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

I know we live in an instant-oatmeal society where words like ‘patience’ and ‘waiting’ are not very popular.  However, the Bible is full of admonitions to wait on the Lord!  His way is perfect and His timing is best!  When I was much younger, I would often hear older girls talk about how their beloved was worth the wait and I would think to myself, “I hope I can say that one day!” 

The years passed.  Life was full and rich...and lonely at times.  Lonely for a guy.  Lonely for someone to belong to, for someone to raise a family with, for someone to grow old with.  Would there ever be someone?  Would I ever get married?  Would he really be worth the wait?

I am now 26 years old and by God’s grace can truly, whole-heartedly, without a shadow of a doubt proclaim, “YES, YES, YES!!!  This man whom God has brought me HAS been worth the wait!”  He is everything I ever prayed for and so much more.  Had I rushed ahead of God’s timing or settled for the first guy who came along, I would have missed out on the indescribable beauty and wonder of this relationship with Nathan Britton, who is without question, the best and most perfect man for me!

I’m not saying that in every situation the first guy who comes along is an unwise choice; many times he could very well be God’s will!  I’m simply wanting to encourage you to be careful and not fall for the first one just because he is the first one!  Evaluate wisely, be on guard against premature infatuation, and be willing to wait on the Lord’s timing!

Thought to Ponder #3 - Princes Need Prayer!

Guess what?  If it’s in God’s plan for you to get married, your future husbands are alive right now.  Your own Prince Charming exists.  Somewhere.  Out there.  You may not know his name or his face or anything about him.  Regardless, he needs your prayer! So pray for him!  Pray for his protection, for his moral uprightness, for his relationship with the Lord.  Pray for God to build His character into the life of your man.  Pray for him to be a strong leader and to stand firm against temptation.  By praying for him even now, you are “doing him good all the days of [your] life.” (Proverbs 31:12)  I prayed for my future husband for many, many years before I met him this past January.  What’s so amazing to me is to see every quality I ever prayed for him evident in his life.  

Okay.  Now that we’ve got a foundation established for us girls, let’s talk about the guys.  When someone comes along who is interested in you, what questions should you ask?  What qualities should you look for?

Questions to Ask a Potential Suitor:

On matters of faith/practice:

•  Is he a Christian? 
•  What is his salvation testimony?  (Pay close attention here!  Is it story about him and what he did to “be saved”, or about Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross?)
•  Does he read the Word regularly? 
•  Is he part of a local body of believers?  What kind of church is he involved with? 
•  Does he have sound doctrinal beliefs that match up to your own?  (There are many “stripes” of Christianity out there; is he of the same stripe as you?)
•  Does he love the Lord and actively pursue a more intimate knowledge of the Savior?
•  Does he know why he believes what he believes?
•  Is he living in obedience to the Word of God?
•  Is he involved in any ministries?

On matters of character:

•   Does he honor his authorities (and yours)?
•   Is he honest?
•   What does he believe about lying?
•   Does he walk in moral uprightness?  (You will want the help of your father or pastor to help ask detailed questions along these lines.)
•   Is he a gentleman?
•   Is he kind to others or only to the girl he is trying to impress?
•   How does he treat children, those with special needs, and the elderly?
•   Is he a leader?
•   Does he have direction and purpose in life?
•   What is he passionate about?
•   Is he easily offended?  Does he carry grudges?
•   Is he humble and teachable or proud and know-it-all?
•   Is he a man of integrity?
•   What makes him angry? What brings him joy?
•   What is his definition of love?
•   Does he manifest the quality of self-control and self-discipline?
•   What are his strengths?  What are his weaknesses?

On matters of family life:

•   What does he believe about guy-girl relationships?
•   Why does he want to get married?
•   What does he believe about the roles of husbands and wives in a marriage relationship?
•   What are his beliefs about children, family planning, birth control, etc.?
•   How does he view his future position as spiritual leader of the home?
•   What does he believe about the discipleship of his children?
•   What does he desire regarding the education of his children?
•   What does he think about adoption?

On matters of lifestyle and personal standards:

•   What are his music convictions/preferences/tastes?
•   What are his standards regarding movies and media?
•   What does he think about clothing/women’s dress/modesty, etc.?
•   What does he want his future home life to look like?
•   What does he think about video games/computer games/the internet?  (Are there any addictions there?)
•   What are his beliefs about alcohol?
•   What are his beliefs about dancing?
•   What kind of books does he enjoy reading?
•   How does he handle finances?

I am sure there are many, many more questions that could be added to these lists!  These are just some ideas to get you started.  As you ask these questions, be evaluating how the answers line up with your own beliefs and values.  Parental wisdom and input is invaluable in the evaluation process as well!  However, you are the one who might be marrying this guy, so you need to know if the two of you are likeminded enough in all the essential, non-negotiable areas.  Some of these areas will be areas of preference vs. conviction.  It is very helpful to determine ahead of time what are unchanging convictions for you and what are areas in which you can be more flexible if the fellow believes differently.

When it comes to the qualities to look for in a potential husband, I found it very helpful to narrow down my list to three main, essential aspects:

1.  A man of God
2.  A man of character
3.  A man whom I can respect and follow

The definitions of these bullet points will be different for different people and wrapped up in these points is the obvious need for likemindedness. 

In the evaluation process, however, please remember that no guy wants the unrealistic expectation that he will be perfect in every way.  And by perfect, I mean sinless and incapable of making mistakes.  If you have these expectations sandwiched around an impossible list of qualities he must fulfill you might find yourself an old maid forever.  There must be room for grace and understanding that the man God has for you is going to be human!  However, that is not to say we should compromise beliefs and convictions just to get any guy!  There must be balance between waiting for God’s best while at the same time being willing to join your life with a fellow imperfect human.

There is so much more that could be said about guy-girl relationships, but my goal was not to write an exhaustive article on the topic.  I simply wanted to share some things I’ve learned along the journey and some thoughts to ponder when those suitors come knocking! 

Remember - this is only the rest of your life that is at stake!  Commit your way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and rest assured that He shall bring it to pass!  Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. (Psalm 37:5, Psalm 27:14)

Here’s to joyfully ever after for the glory of God!!!

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Guy's Perspective: Should I Let him Know that I Like him?

{by Michael Vuke}

Editor's Note: This is not an article on courting vs. dating, y'all. This is not an article telling you when it is "ok" for you to start dating or how that process should look for you. This is simply one cool guy's perspective on a topic that a reader asked about, basically: how do guys feel when a girl lets him know if she's interested in him? So apply your own personal standards and glean whatever wisdom you can from this post. Okay? Mkay. :)

“Girls are so confusing…I wish they would just let us know when they liked us!” When I was in the first few years of high school, this feeling seemed to be universally shared by guys. Even though we say we want girls to tell us, do we really mean it? Do guys like it when girls let them know they are interested in them?

I was one of those guys who wished that girls would just tell me if they liked me or not; I was nervous around girls and, like every guy, I didn’t understand them. I wanted the easy way out. Well, a girl that I was acquaintances with told me that she liked me—in fact, she had been having a crush on me since we met (a year or two before this); she wanted to know if I was interested in being her boyfriend.

Boom. My wish had been granted.

What was the end result? Well, I wasn’t into this girl, so I politely told her that I was flattered that she was attracted to me, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship at this point (which was true), and since she had moved out of state several months back, it really wouldn’t work. She wrote back asking me to reconsider. Long story short, we ended up cutting off communication. I’ve talked to her a couple of times since then (it’s been several years now) but even now I avoid interacting with her when I can.

I learned a lot from that situation. I didn’t like the fact that a girl was pursuing me. When I had been saying that I wanted girls to tell me if they liked me, what I meant was I wanted the girls I liked to tell me if they liked me. Shallow much?

Here is a good rule of thumb: if a guy wants to be in a relationship with you, yet doesn’t have the fortitude to ask you out, maybe he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you as bad as he thinks he does. When a guy wants a girl to ask him out, he is looking for the easy, no-risk approach. Almost everything worth having is worth taking a chance on.

So, how does this apply to y’all?

If you are interested in a guy, it isn’t a problem to send signals. Spend time with him, talk to him, find out about him. Don’t smother him. (See my post on Mother Hens) Don’t come on to him or ask him out, but spend time getting to know him and his interests.

Conversely, if you aren’t interested in a guy, don’t let him monopolize your time! The amount of time you spend with someone is a HUGE signal, and it is the easiest way to start developing feelings for someone.

So, if you do the above, the ball is now in his court. If he wants to date you, shouldn’t you see if he thinks you are worth the risk of asking when he isn’t 100% sure what the outcome will be?

Think of this as the first way to weed guys out. If he isn’t willing to take a risk (however small) to enter into a relationship with you, the odds are that he isn’t going to stick things out in the long run. You owe it to yourself to not tell him.

Have you ever told someone that you liked them? Tell me about what happened in the comments!

Michael Vuke is a 20 year old writer from the South with a love for nature and art. He loves finding vintage treasures, and they help inspire some of his musings which can be found at www.michaelvuke.wordpress.com. Got a topic you want him to talk about? Comment with it below or tweet it out to him @WriteandDream.

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On a Mission: Asking the Hard Questions {Part 3}

Check out Part 1 and Part 2 if you missed them! Today we'll hear from Rebekah, who has shared her heart for children several times on this blog before. Here are some of her thoughts on Kisses from Katie, what we can be doing today, and how this issue has impacted her life:

Rebekah:

How has the Lord touched your heart on this issue?

Ever since I was a little girl I have always loved children. I have spent most of my childhood playing with, being around and babysitting children. So when it came time to start looking at careers, my choice was of course to do something that had to do with children. The love that God has given me for children is incredible. I sometimes wish I could hug every child in the world and show them just how much God loves them. And while I can't do that, I can show a great number of kids God's love by going to in missions work of some kind.

How has that passion impacted your life or how do you see it impacting

your life?

My love for children overflows into pretty much everything I do. Wherever I go, if I see a child, I am immediately drawn to him. If there is ever a child in need, I try to do whatever I can to help him. As I said above, I have spent a lot of my life around/with children, and so I think they have made a huge impact on my life. I think I see the world differently when I am with children. Children have such a sweet view of life, and I love it. I wish everyone could see the world as a child does. They also have an amazing amount of faith in things they cannot see. And that is truly priceless. We could all learn a lesson or two from them about trusting God :)

If you could tell people of one way they can make a difference, what would it be?

To love God, and love children. So many people in the world today see children as a burden, when really they are a blessing from the Lord. They are incredible gift that we don't deserve. They are eternal beings that have a heart and soul just like you and me. 

What kind of an impact did Kisses from Katie have on you?

I actually have followed Katie's blog for over year before the book came out. Naturally, when I heard she was releasing a book, I pre-ordered it and read it as soon as I could! It is an amazing book. I would recommend to anyone, even if they don't feel God calling them into missions work. It will change your life.

Katie makes it clear that she’s not saying all people need to become foreign missionaries. But that does not release us from our duty to care for orphans. What can we be doing, here and now?

I definitely agree that not all people are called into foreign missions. But I do think that God calls everyone to some type of ministry. Even if that is as simple as being a stay-at-home mom, it's still doing as the Lord has called. I also believe that God can use you to great things wherever He has called you. That may be spreading the word through out the office you work in, or teaching your children about God. I think as Westerners, we can have an impact. Even if we aren't the ones going over to foreign countries, we can be the ones who support those missionaries by raising funds, organizing events, getting the word out, or any other ways you can think of helping. Many times there is just one missionary who goes to different country, but they really have a team of hundreds of people back home supporting them and helping them.

Is giving money to good causes enough?

There is a book called Crazy Love (by Francis Chan) that greatly changed my thoughts on this issue. I think the best thing to do is have a mindset of where are treasure is, we will be there also. And for us, as Christians, ALL of our treasure should be in heaven. We shouldn't be too attached to anything on earth, so if God asks us to give it up, we can. Mr. Chan in his book talks about selling his big home and moving to one half the size so that he could donate the extra money to missions work. This is something that seems so radical to us, but if you think about it, he probably changed hundreds, if not thousands of people's lives, but just listening to what God wanted him to do, and being willing to do it. I think if you are willing, God will call you to make a difference bigger then you could ever imagine.

To the girls who have grown up reading missionaries biographies and have always dreamed of the missionary life, what would you say? What would you say to the girls who are pretty much happy with their American life and “don’t feel the call”? What has God said to you on this issue?

To those girls dreaming of being missionaries, I would say, If God calls you, Go. It might be scary, and it might be the hardest thing you have ever done, but I can guarantee you giving up everything you know and love to go serve the Lord is the best thing you will ever do. To the girls who love their American life, I would say, evaluate your loves. If you love your American "treasures" more then God, then there are some priority issues there. But if you are loving God and He calls you to stay and serve in America, then by all means, listen :)

Personally, I have felt God calling me for a while to do some type of missions work. As of right now I am planning on going to a missionary Midwifery school and then hopefully serving the Lord somewhere, in some country (I am leaving that up to God right now!) I am so very excited about going to different countries, and serving God in different parts of the world. I know it will probably be hard, but as I said before, I also know it will definitely be worth it.

Ok, so now it's your turn: what are your thoughts on some of the tough questions about missions work? How would you answer these questions? 

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Don't Be That Girl #3: The Crazy One

At this point we are frantically running
for the door.

{by Michael Vuke}

There are a lot of articles out there telling what sort of girl you should be to attract guys; equally important, however, is knowing the type of girl that guys avoid. Here I’ll lay out for you five basic types of girls that we guys avoid like the plague. So far we've covered the Catlady-in-training and the Mother Hen. Please, for all of our sakes, don’t be these girls.

Part 3: The Crazy One

Next on the list of feared and avoided women is the Crazy One. You never know what the Crazy One will do next—one minute she is complaining that you never are serious, the next she is trying to chug a 2-liter. Relient K based their song ‘Mood Rings’ off of her. She has no concept of restraint or inhibitions and will do anything on a dare. Her favorite perfume is “Eau de la Red Flag”.

How do you know if you are the Crazy One?

If people around you eye you warily while laughing at your latest antic, you might be this girl. Do people dare you to do things constantly? Whenever you come out in public, do your friends all whip out their cameras in hopes of catching the next viral video? Do people ask you to speak quieter a lot?

Why do we care?

There are two main reasons: 1. It’s embarrassing to be around someone who at any given moment could jump up on the table and start belting out “Make ‘Em Laugh” from Singing in the Rain (or worse yet, the latest Ke$ha song) 2. We are scared to be around them. Someone who is that unpredictable and crazy usually has emotional issues and could turn on you in a second. It’s kind of like playing hot potato with a hand grenade; however fun it might be at the time, everyone is a little afraid that it will kill them.

The Crazy One would like you to think that she is a different girl. She would like you to think she is the Adventurous One, but there are major differences. The Adventurous One is amazing; she embraces life in all its twists and turns, and seeks to find the wonder in life. She is not foolhardy, nor reckless, but the Adventurous One is also not afraid to take risks. She is not afraid to have fun and do random things, but she can also be serious and strategic when it is appropriate.  The Crazy One makes us want to go away, but the Adventurous One makes us want to join them in their escapades.

What do you do for adventure? Comment below!

Michael Vuke likes to think of himself as an explorer, discovering new things in the world and internally. He has a list of things to do before he gets old, boring, or 30, and is always trying to come up with ways to make daily life interesting. Got any cool ways to spice up your life? Tweet it out to him @WriteandDream. Michael blogs about his discoveries at michaelvuke.wordpress.com.

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