Rebels Without Causes

{by Rachel Coker}

I experienced my first major movie-star crush when I was twelve years old. I just happened to stroll through the living room one Sunday afternoon and see my dad stretched out on the couch, watching an old movie on TV. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. Nothing new there—just his usual Sunday afternoon movie watching. I grabbed a snack out of the fridge and was about to head upstairs when it happened. I saw him. James Dean. I’m pretty sure the earth tipped slightly on its axis. Was it just me, or had my heart stopped beating? Yep, that guy was definitely making my stomach do crazy things.

I casually perched on the edge of the sofa and pretended to be only semi-interested in the movie. “What are you watching?” I asked my dad, as non-suspiciously as possible. Rebel without a Cause. And with those four words, my Sunday afternoon was pretty much shot. Because I sat on the couch for the majority of it, soaking up that handsome face and sweet red jacket.

Looking back on it now, I’m not sure I can really put my finger on what it was about James Dean’s character that I found so appealing. Granted, he was extremely good looking and the best dresser I’d ever laid eyes on, but there was something else about him that I found downright intriguing. He was a rebel. He roamed the streets at dark in his 1949 Mercury, hung out in abandoned houses, and got into more trouble in twenty-four hours than most people can achieve in a lifetime. Basically, he lived the kind of life that every teenager, boy or girl, dreams about. The freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Forget adult supervision or rules. James Dean did whatever he pleased, and twelve-year-old me thought that was just amazing.

There’s a stereotype about teenagers that should probably cause most of us to cringe. And that is that teenagers are a discontented, rebellious, ungrateful bunch of kids. But you know what? It’s totally true! And, to make things worse, I am one of those teenagers! And, if you’re going to be one hundred percent honest, you probably are, too.

My sisters and I recently completed a Bible study on contentment. It was definitely eye-opening to me, because for the first time I realized how little I have to be ungrateful for. Every day, God showers me with blessings and mercies—most of which I don’t even recognize. And yet, I fight. I push for what I want and demand what I think I need. I’m not always grateful or content with the life God has given me. In fact, I often want to rebel against it.

As fallen human beings, we’re born into that state of sin and rebellion. We’re constantly fighting and struggling for things that aren’t in God’s plan for us. And yet, what do we have to fight for? God has been nothing but good and merciful toward us. We play the part of rebels, but we really don’t have a cause.

Every time we rebel against God, there are serious consequences. We lose fellowship with Him, we are kept from receiving some of His blessings, and we are sometimes even punished. No matter how romantic it might seem sometimes, the life of a rebel isn’t a great one. Even in James Dean’s classic film celebrating teen freedom, things end badly. Death, degradation of the family, ruined friendships… Rebellion comes with a price.

The world is full of enough rebels without causes. What we need is more young women and men willing to stand for something worthwhile. The cause of truth, and love, and grace. Those are true causes. The blessings of God are the only things that are really going to last, after all. What good is a few years of living hard and fast? What will we really gain by rebelling for our own desires, if they are only things that will pass away when this life is over?

So stop fighting. Stop rebelling. We really have no reason to be discontent and unhappy. Instead we should spend more time thinking about all the wonderful blessings we enjoy. We don’t have a cause to rebel, but we do have so many causes to be grateful.

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Guy's Perspective: Should I Let him Know that I Like him?

{by Michael Vuke}

Editor's Note: This is not an article on courting vs. dating, y'all. This is not an article telling you when it is "ok" for you to start dating or how that process should look for you. This is simply one cool guy's perspective on a topic that a reader asked about, basically: how do guys feel when a girl lets him know if she's interested in him? So apply your own personal standards and glean whatever wisdom you can from this post. Okay? Mkay. :)

“Girls are so confusing…I wish they would just let us know when they liked us!” When I was in the first few years of high school, this feeling seemed to be universally shared by guys. Even though we say we want girls to tell us, do we really mean it? Do guys like it when girls let them know they are interested in them?

I was one of those guys who wished that girls would just tell me if they liked me or not; I was nervous around girls and, like every guy, I didn’t understand them. I wanted the easy way out. Well, a girl that I was acquaintances with told me that she liked me—in fact, she had been having a crush on me since we met (a year or two before this); she wanted to know if I was interested in being her boyfriend.

Boom. My wish had been granted.

What was the end result? Well, I wasn’t into this girl, so I politely told her that I was flattered that she was attracted to me, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship at this point (which was true), and since she had moved out of state several months back, it really wouldn’t work. She wrote back asking me to reconsider. Long story short, we ended up cutting off communication. I’ve talked to her a couple of times since then (it’s been several years now) but even now I avoid interacting with her when I can.

I learned a lot from that situation. I didn’t like the fact that a girl was pursuing me. When I had been saying that I wanted girls to tell me if they liked me, what I meant was I wanted the girls I liked to tell me if they liked me. Shallow much?

Here is a good rule of thumb: if a guy wants to be in a relationship with you, yet doesn’t have the fortitude to ask you out, maybe he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you as bad as he thinks he does. When a guy wants a girl to ask him out, he is looking for the easy, no-risk approach. Almost everything worth having is worth taking a chance on.

So, how does this apply to y’all?

If you are interested in a guy, it isn’t a problem to send signals. Spend time with him, talk to him, find out about him. Don’t smother him. (See my post on Mother Hens) Don’t come on to him or ask him out, but spend time getting to know him and his interests.

Conversely, if you aren’t interested in a guy, don’t let him monopolize your time! The amount of time you spend with someone is a HUGE signal, and it is the easiest way to start developing feelings for someone.

So, if you do the above, the ball is now in his court. If he wants to date you, shouldn’t you see if he thinks you are worth the risk of asking when he isn’t 100% sure what the outcome will be?

Think of this as the first way to weed guys out. If he isn’t willing to take a risk (however small) to enter into a relationship with you, the odds are that he isn’t going to stick things out in the long run. You owe it to yourself to not tell him.

Have you ever told someone that you liked them? Tell me about what happened in the comments!

Michael Vuke is a 20 year old writer from the South with a love for nature and art. He loves finding vintage treasures, and they help inspire some of his musings which can be found at www.michaelvuke.wordpress.com. Got a topic you want him to talk about? Comment with it below or tweet it out to him @WriteandDream.

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On a Mission: Asking the Hard Questions {Part 3}

Check out Part 1 and Part 2 if you missed them! Today we'll hear from Rebekah, who has shared her heart for children several times on this blog before. Here are some of her thoughts on Kisses from Katie, what we can be doing today, and how this issue has impacted her life:

Rebekah:

How has the Lord touched your heart on this issue?

Ever since I was a little girl I have always loved children. I have spent most of my childhood playing with, being around and babysitting children. So when it came time to start looking at careers, my choice was of course to do something that had to do with children. The love that God has given me for children is incredible. I sometimes wish I could hug every child in the world and show them just how much God loves them. And while I can't do that, I can show a great number of kids God's love by going to in missions work of some kind.

How has that passion impacted your life or how do you see it impacting

your life?

My love for children overflows into pretty much everything I do. Wherever I go, if I see a child, I am immediately drawn to him. If there is ever a child in need, I try to do whatever I can to help him. As I said above, I have spent a lot of my life around/with children, and so I think they have made a huge impact on my life. I think I see the world differently when I am with children. Children have such a sweet view of life, and I love it. I wish everyone could see the world as a child does. They also have an amazing amount of faith in things they cannot see. And that is truly priceless. We could all learn a lesson or two from them about trusting God :)

If you could tell people of one way they can make a difference, what would it be?

To love God, and love children. So many people in the world today see children as a burden, when really they are a blessing from the Lord. They are incredible gift that we don't deserve. They are eternal beings that have a heart and soul just like you and me. 

What kind of an impact did Kisses from Katie have on you?

I actually have followed Katie's blog for over year before the book came out. Naturally, when I heard she was releasing a book, I pre-ordered it and read it as soon as I could! It is an amazing book. I would recommend to anyone, even if they don't feel God calling them into missions work. It will change your life.

Katie makes it clear that she’s not saying all people need to become foreign missionaries. But that does not release us from our duty to care for orphans. What can we be doing, here and now?

I definitely agree that not all people are called into foreign missions. But I do think that God calls everyone to some type of ministry. Even if that is as simple as being a stay-at-home mom, it's still doing as the Lord has called. I also believe that God can use you to great things wherever He has called you. That may be spreading the word through out the office you work in, or teaching your children about God. I think as Westerners, we can have an impact. Even if we aren't the ones going over to foreign countries, we can be the ones who support those missionaries by raising funds, organizing events, getting the word out, or any other ways you can think of helping. Many times there is just one missionary who goes to different country, but they really have a team of hundreds of people back home supporting them and helping them.

Is giving money to good causes enough?

There is a book called Crazy Love (by Francis Chan) that greatly changed my thoughts on this issue. I think the best thing to do is have a mindset of where are treasure is, we will be there also. And for us, as Christians, ALL of our treasure should be in heaven. We shouldn't be too attached to anything on earth, so if God asks us to give it up, we can. Mr. Chan in his book talks about selling his big home and moving to one half the size so that he could donate the extra money to missions work. This is something that seems so radical to us, but if you think about it, he probably changed hundreds, if not thousands of people's lives, but just listening to what God wanted him to do, and being willing to do it. I think if you are willing, God will call you to make a difference bigger then you could ever imagine.

To the girls who have grown up reading missionaries biographies and have always dreamed of the missionary life, what would you say? What would you say to the girls who are pretty much happy with their American life and “don’t feel the call”? What has God said to you on this issue?

To those girls dreaming of being missionaries, I would say, If God calls you, Go. It might be scary, and it might be the hardest thing you have ever done, but I can guarantee you giving up everything you know and love to go serve the Lord is the best thing you will ever do. To the girls who love their American life, I would say, evaluate your loves. If you love your American "treasures" more then God, then there are some priority issues there. But if you are loving God and He calls you to stay and serve in America, then by all means, listen :)

Personally, I have felt God calling me for a while to do some type of missions work. As of right now I am planning on going to a missionary Midwifery school and then hopefully serving the Lord somewhere, in some country (I am leaving that up to God right now!) I am so very excited about going to different countries, and serving God in different parts of the world. I know it will probably be hard, but as I said before, I also know it will definitely be worth it.

Ok, so now it's your turn: what are your thoughts on some of the tough questions about missions work? How would you answer these questions? 

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On a Mission: Asking the Hard Questions {Part 2}

"People tell me I am brave," says Katie Davis, "People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people." 


Would that be your answer? What does that mean for us? How can we be loving the least of these... today? Hannah shared her thoughts with us last time, here is another young lady to offer her perspective on some of the hard questions of missions work:

Carolyn:

How has the Lord touched your heart on this issue?

I'm not really sure why the Lord gave me a burden for orphans, child slaves, and abortion. He just did. I can't really remember who or when it started but I've always felt called to something with children. All I know is that He has given me a hurt for these hurting children and someday He will show me what He wants me to do about that. Until then I need to keep listening, keep preparing, and keep praying.

How has that passion impacted your life?

It has helped my relationships with my siblings a lot. I have three younger siblings and I believe the Lord has given them to me so I can practice. It has also helped me become more humble I look at others who have gone before me and I stop thinking I'm so wonderful.  

What is one way we can 'make a difference'?

Remember that God makes the difference, if you are ready to always be his tool he will use you. Sometimes that means taking the first step without knowing what the second step is. The best way to make a difference is to not wait for the faith you need but to trust that God will give you the trust you need at each individual time. I know that sounds paradoxical but it works. He may give you a lot to do he may give you only a little. But it will always be just enough.

Not all Christians are called to physically move to foreign countries and devote their time to the desperately poor. However, when compared with the work missionaries are doing, sometimes our lives seem superficial and in some ways selfish. What are your thoughts on this?

I've actually been struggling a lot with that lately. There is so much work to do close to home and so much work to do  in other lands. Part of me wants to help carry the light into areas that have never seen it. Part of me wants to go help the children over seas who are hurting. then another part of me wants to stay here and help the babies that are being murdered right here in my own country. So I think that each individual should trust the Lord to give him or her their own assignment. Knowing that the assignment might change. After all as long as you are doing the Fathers will how can you be doing wrong? There is no "better way" then the way He has placed you in. 

Is giving money to good causes enough?

No. Money is not enough. The Bible tells us to give of ourselves. To give what we really prize. The Christian is taught to prize time and love, not just money. So giving our money, while good, is not enough.  We need to also give our time and our talents. However, you can be a missionary at home! Giving your time and talents to the Lord at home is the same thing as giving them in Africa. Once again the important thing is to be living the will of the Lord.

To the girls who have grown up reading missionaries biographies and have always dreamed of the missionary life, what would you say? To the girls who are pretty much happy with their American life and “don’t feel the call”, what would you say?

To the first group I would say this: Hi sisters! You're just like me! I am so glad that the Lord has spoken to your hearts. I have two cautions though: 1.) Don't get caught up in the romantic vision of the mission field make sure its the Lords' glory you want not adventure. 2.) Prepare yourselves by ministering to those around you. Don't expect to get out there and be instantly the perfect example to the heathen.

To the second group I would say this: Are you listening? Do you have a close relationship with the Lord or are you drifting? And if you are you are just like me! I have huge dry spells when I feel like just doing what I want to do.  But you know what? It's always my fault! If you want to be called, you have to stay within calling range; draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you.

What has God said to me on this issue? The verse I have picked as my own this year is this. "Walk in wisdom toward them which are without redeeming the time."  Life was given us to glorify God. The Lord has called us to use each second to the fullest. To seek for wisdom, to be an example, and to glorify God. A missionary is someone with a mission, my mission is your mission; to bring glory to God. That is the bottom line.

Don't forget to look for Part 3, coming soon 

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On a Mission: Asking the Hard Questions

One girl. About the age of most of us. One countercultural decision. One crazy awesome God and one heart surrendered to His wildest ideas.

The result? Thousands of orphans given homes and cared for, thousands of ways for the Gospel to be shared, one amazing ministry begun, one beautiful book written, and thousands of hearts inspired.

The girl? Katie Davis, now young mother of 13 orphaned girls and founder of Amazima Ministries. The book? Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption, the exciting and heart-wrenching story of her adventures in Uganda. My advice to you? Read it.

Kisses from Katie is Katie Davis’ telling of her own story, how she turned her back on the traditional American life of college and career and chose a radically different life than the one she had grown up with and expected to live. But more than that, Katie’s book is the story of the people, and particularly the children, of Uganda; it is the story of the approximately 143,000,000 orphans around the world today, voiceless and alone; it is the story of a God big enough to use a little girl to do great things.

Reading Katie’s story is not exactly the kind of book you want to read curled up in a comfortable chair, sipping a $4 latte… without seeing the complacency and self-centeredness of our culture mirrored in yourself, that is. Because Katie’s book is like that. Unless you’re reading it from the depths of Africa or somewhere where you are engrossed in full time mission work with orphans up to your ears, Kisses from Katie raises interesting, and convicting, questions. As high school girls, wrapped up in activities and friends, are we truly living for anyone other than ourselves? As college students, busy with heavy course loads and meeting new faces, are we living with an eternity-mindset? As 20-somethings, moving on with life and careers and schooling, are we so focused on the next bend in the road that we forget the crying, hungry world around us?

Not everyone is called to leave their home, families, friends, and the beaten path of classic American life to directly minister in hungry and sick, poverty-stricken third world countries. We can be missionaries wherever we are [we all know that right? the whole ‘bloom where you’re planted’ thing?]. But in the face of thousands of children who live in conditions so desperate our minds can only imagine, that platitude, although truthful, can seem to fall a little flat.

Three girls, each with a passion for children, orphans, missions, and the voiceless, are here to share their thoughts with you on this topic, and why it has become a passion for them.

 

Hannah:

Why do you have a passion for orphans/children/missions?

I didn’t originally have a passion for this issue. I mean, my heart would hurt when footage of starving children came on the TV screen, and I’d feel compassion for children without families--but mostly I didn’t think of them. I tried not to let them cross my mind too often because I doubted that there were real, tangible ways I could help. 

If you could tell people of one way they can make a difference, what would you tell them?

Prayer. This should not be disregarded or downplayed. Jesus speaks repeatedly on prayer in the New Testament--He uses strong imagery to emphasize how we should appeal to Him boldly and often. These kids are under His watch. He loves them more than we do. So why would we hesitate to appeal to Him to care for their needs, and equip us to help them?

To the girls who have grown up reading missionaries biographies and have always dreamed of the missionary life, what would you say? To the girls who are pretty much happy with their American life and “don’t feel the call”, what would you say?

To the girls who (like me) were raised on missionary stories--don’t downplay your involvement. You might not be in a place in life where you can drop everything and go overseas. You may never be given that opportunity. That doesn’t mean you’re powerless. Mother Teresa emphasized that all we can do are “small things with great love.” I would add--I don’t think anything done for the Kingdom is truly small. Everything matters. Everything is seen by God. 

To the girls who don’t think you’re called...I would suggest reconsidering. The truth is, if we love Jesus, caring for orphans isn’t a question. James 1:27 says it is a mark of “pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God.” The question isn’t whether you’re called. The question is “how.” How can you specifically help love these kids? Prayer? Active involvement in a local orphan ministry? Fundraising for orphan ministries or places that support potential adoptive families, like the Abba Fund? But mostly...I’d encourage those girls to dare to see yourselves in these children. But for the grace of God, we’d be there too. How can we possibly bear to live without giving them a second thought? If God’s heart breaks for them, why should our hearts remain whole?

check back soon for part 2... 

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How Our (Future) Children View God - President or Best Friend?

{by Rebekah Kimminau}

A few months ago I was reading an article on teaching your children the catechism. It was talking about having your children from a young age start memorizing the catechism. (For those of you who don't know what a catechism is, it is a small book full of truth's about God, from the bible. Things such as: "Who is God's Son? Jesus." "Who created the world? God." "In how many days? 7.")

After reading the article I got to thinking about how I was hoping to have my (future) children someday do this. A few days ago, God brought the thoughts back into my mind. As I was pondering them, I had a great realization from God. I realized that there were two ways I could show God to my children. As if He was the President, or as if He was their best friend. 

When you get to thinking about it, the president does have a smilar role as God. He is there to lead and protect our nation, just as God is put in place to lead and protect us.  He sets up rules and laws for the betterment of the nation. Just as God set out laws in the bible for the betterment of us. 

But then you get to thinking, what does the president look like from a child's point of view. He looks like the guy who is way "up there". Though they know He exists, they also know they will probably never get a chance to meet him. He is the guy who's name they memorize is school along with what number president he is. So from their point of view, he is a guy who lives and breathes on the same planet as them (as well as lives in the same country), but has not much else to do with them.

Now let's see how a best friend is similar to God. A best friend (at least any of the one's I have had) would do just about anything to protect. They love you with passion, and are the people who are always available when you need them. (the president, on the other hand, may take a while for you to reach should you want to talk to him ;) A best friend is there for you because they LOVE you. Not because they are called by their "oath of office" to serve and protect you.

So which way do I want my (future) children to view God? As someone who they memorize facts about, or someone they can talk to anytime they would like. Defiantly, the latter. I believe teaching your (future) children from a young age that God is always going to be there for them, and always going to love them, no matter what, will give them a huge jump start in the relationship with Him. If when they think of God, they immediately think of someone that they can run to when troubles come, they can rely on when things around them fall apart, (just like I would say about my best friend) then they will have a wonderful start to their walk with the Lord.

p.s. This is not only wonderful ideas to teach your (future) children, but also great ideas to apply in your personal walk with God.

About Rebekah: I am a 17 year old girl who, strives everyday to live for the Lord. I don’t always live in Him, but I try. I have been home schooled all of my life, and I am an Air Force Brat. I have move 9 times in my life. I am the oldest of four, and I absolutely adore my family. I have had a passion for babies and children ever since I was little, and I spend most of my time babysitting. I currently live in the DC area.

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Dear Katrina: A Love Story That Won't Be Found in Hollywood

{by Katrina Rebsch}

God has been doing amazing things in the life of one of our favorite writers! We thought y'all might like to hear a little update. Honestly, this is one of the most beautiful romances I have ever seen played out, nothing like it can be found in pop culture news or Hollywood drama. It is a testiment to Katrina's faithful commitment to purity, purpose in singleness, and the way she has honored her father and heavenly Father. And of course, its a testiment to the awesomeness of God, who can write better romances than Jane Austin and Margaret Mitchell combined. The pictures kind of give away the ending, but who cares? Good love stories have happy endings, so you probably would've guessed anyway...

It had been a long and life-changing six months in Bolivia, overflowing with both trials and blessings. On January 3rd, however, I was at last on a plane bound for Texas! I couldn't wait to see my parents again, to breath the air of America, to revel in the beauty of our lovely house, to eat favorite foods, and to play our piano to my heart's content! Soul-weary and in need of refreshing, I was excited beyond words to return home. Truly, there is no place like it!

My first day back was just like I had dreamed it would be every day while so far away in South America. Mom and Dad met me at the airport where there was much hugging, picture snapping, tear wiping, and the usual non-stop chatter that accompanies such a joyful reunion! Then, while Dad returned to work, Mom and I spent the day at home catching up on all the news as well as much needed rest in the form of afternoon naps for both of us.

After dinner that evening, Dad announced that he and Mom had something to give me and asked me to join them in the living room. "Does this gift have to do with Christmas?" I asked, since the holidays had so recently come and gone. "No," my dad replied. "This has nothing to do with Christmas. It's something that's been in the works now for about two and a half months."

My curiosity was immediately piqued by this description of the gift. What could he mean by two and a half months? I didn't have to wonder long because Mom soon came in carrying a giant scrapbook. On the cover were pictures of flowers and on each page inside she had glued special memorabilia of milestones from my life and people I had touched. Suddenly, I understood my dad's description! For the past couple of months, Mom had been cleaning out closets and de-cluttering the house in preparation for home renovations like new carpeting and a fresh coat of paint on the walls. In the cleaning-out process, she had come across all this memorabilia and wanted to preserve it for me in a meaningful way.

I was quite touched by her sweet efforts and enjoyed paging through the book, oohing and ahhing over each item she had thought to include. She followed the flower theme all the way through, decorating each page accordingly, based on a special conversation we had had while I was in Bolivia. When I reached the last page, there was a letter with my name on it tucked inside a pocket of paper. Naturally, I assumed the letter was from my parents, although I did find it strange that it said Miss Katrina Rebsch in computer calligraphy since my parents never use my last name when addressing a letter to me. I also thought it strange the way they were smiling at me. I couldn't exactly put my finger on the reason why, but their smiles prompted me to think that something mysterious was going on...

I slit the envelope open and immediately noticed that the letter was not from my parents. The handwriting was completely unfamiliar. It began with these words:

"Dear Katrina,

You do not know me, but I hope you won't let that stop you from reading further."

Well, I did stop momentarily, but only because I was so utterly stunned! In a flash of understanding, I realized that the letter I held in my hand was from a young man. A quick glance down the page revealed his name: Nathan Britton. My dad's comment about this gift being two and a half months in process, my parents' smiles...it was all starting to make sense. A handwritten letter from a young man like this presented in such a way by my parents could only mean one thing in my household.

I gulped and kept reading.

Dear Katrina, 

You do not know me, but I hope you won't let that stop you from reading further. You never know what you might find with the next stroke of the pen (and I actually am using a pen!).

Let me introduce myself. My name is Nathan Britton. I am just a regular guy with a spectacular God. For as long as I've known them, my parents have been involved with ministry in Michigan where they raised me, my four brothers, and three sisters. I moved to Texas in August of 2009 to work toward a Master in Theology degree at Dallas Theological Seminary. Yes, they have a Houston extension site. Oh, and I am single. :-) 

Currently, I continue the studies while working full time at First Baptist Church of Katy as assistant to the pastor. My desire is to serve the Lord with every aspect of life; to be wasted for the purpose of His glory. I have a call to ministry, specifically as a pastor, and one day would like to train pastors in places where they do not have easy access to such training.

Enough about me, I want to hear about you! Unfortunately, the paper isn't talking back to me. I suppose, though, you're wondering why I'm writing you; perhaps you're even asking why I even know who you are? Well, that's simple. You're famous! And besides that, I go to church with the Hebert family who decided that I should meet you and, thus, put me in touch with your dad.

Since then, I have been so encouraged by all of the things that I have learned about you (fyi: your blog is quite good!). Your heart for missions is truly inspiring, and your desire to live a life of ministry is very rare these days. The display of Christ in you is very evident, and the character of God beautifully shines forth in your life. Though I have never met you, it seems as if I know you, at least a little, and have been praying for you often.

Let me be blunt. I would love to meet you, Katrina! I have nothing further to ask in this letter, but that you would prayerfully consider allowing me to be another flower in your life whatever that may look like (in the end, it is in the hands of our God).

Katrina, welcome home! I pray that the Lord will richly bless you with an ever-growing understanding of Christ Himself, and that He will keep you safe as He leads you forward.

I hope to meet you in person soon! (From all I've learned, I know you'll be way more interesting to talk to than this piece of paper.) :-) 

Sincerely and in His Grace,

Nathan Britton

P.S. You can thank your sister for the gerber daisies 

At that point, my mom hopped off the couch where she had been sitting beside me and hurried out to the garage. Within seconds, she came in carrying a vase that contained four, beautiful pink gerber daisies; a gift from Nathan to accompany the letter. (The post script indicated he had been in touch with my sister in regards to my favorite flowers - and delivered accordingly!)

To describe to you how I felt in that moment and all the thoughts that were racing through my head as I scrambled to process what was happening...well, I'm just not sure there are words to do it justice. A young man like this was interested in me? And he had already been in touch with my dad? And he had taken the time to write me a six-page, handwritten letter of introduction on parchment paper and buy me flowers?

I was having a hard time taking it all in. Excited, shocked, blessed, curious, speechless; those might be a few words to describe the experience. It's a good thing I like surprises, because this was the biggest one of my life!

As soon as I found my voice again, I plied my parents with questions! And they, still grinning from ear to ear like Cheshire cats, were most happy to oblige!

It had all started three months previously around the dinner table at the home of mutual friends, the Hebert family. They had invited over two brothers from their church to share a meal and fellowship. During the conversation that night, the younger of the brothers, Nathan, was questioned about his relationship status. When he replied that he was "sadly single," they asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. He said that he had not found the right girl yet; someone who shared his love for the Lord, his desire for a life of full-time ministry, and his conservative beliefs/values. Upon hearing this, the Heberts immediately thought of me and said to Nathan, "You need to meet Katrina!" He mentioned that he was all in favor of meeting people! "The only problem is, she's doing mission work in Bolivia right now. But we'd be happy to put you in touch with her dad!" Nathan agreed that contacting a girl's father first was a good way to do things, and was more than willing to take that step.

At that, Mr. Hebert, who is not only a cunning matchmaker (as we have now learned), but also my dad's boss, wasted no time in dashing off an email to him - right then and there!

"How old is Katrina and when is she coming home? We found her a husband.

Stats: 25 years old, 6' 1", one of 8 home schooled kids. BA in Political Science from Hillsdale, currently doing a ThM at Dallas Seminary. Looking for a conservative woman, open to Christian work, home schooling, large family, theologically conservative."

(*Note - when I read this email much later in the story, I couldn't help but laugh! If that doesn't sound like an ad for a mail-order bride, I don't know what does! Let me assure you it was more a reflection of Mr. Hebert's humor than Nathan's chivalrous way of stating things!)

My dad immediately emailed back a favorable response with a request for more information. And so it was, that the young, handsome, and sadly single Nathan Britton left that night with the blog address of a girl in South America, the contact information for her father, and a glimmer of hope in his heart.

long conversations... discussing theology! :)

It wasn't long before he contacted my dad and they arranged to meet for breakfast. Dad was quite impressed with Nathan that first conversation; he seemed to be a young man of character with a good head on his shoulders and a striking amount of commonalities with the daughter down in Bolivia. However, before proceeding forward, my dad asked Nathan to seriously pray over the next two weeks and seek God's will about the possibility of pursuing something further with me. He also encouraged Nathan to read my blog and begin getting to know me as much as possible through that means.

I had signed an agreement as part of my volunteer covenant with Casa de Amor that I would not engage in any romantic relationships during the six months term of service to which I was committed. My dad informed Nathan of this fact and explained that he would therefore have to hold off from having any form of contact with me personally until I returned home, but that he was more than welcome to interact with my family in the meanwhile.

in the kitchen together!

Nathan did as my dad asked. After two weeks of earnest prayer and many, many late nights spent reading every word of my blog, he was more than ready to move forward by getting to know my family. My dad made arrangements for him to come over for a meal so he could meet my mom and my sister, who, it turned out, had surprised everyone by flying into town for November birthdays and Thanksgiving. A good friend of mine was also present for that lunch. They all enjoyed meeting Nathan, and bombarded him with dozens of questions during lunch (naturally!). They liked what they learned and he, in turn, enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with my family.

Somewhere in this process, my dad had another private conversation with Nathan during which time he asked him all the tough questions he asks any potential suitor. It's part of his screening process and gives him a good indication of where a young man stands morally and if he has the ability to support a family or not. Nathan passed this part of the "Dad interview" with flying colors!

The next challenge my dad issued forth was for Nathan to make phone calls to various close friends of our family to ask questions about me and continue getting to know me indirectly until the time would come when we could meet in person. Never one to back down from a challenge, Nathan did as my dad suggested. Perhaps a peek into their email exchange at this point will give you a glimpse of what was transpiring, while I was busy caring for children in Cochabamba!

Nathan,

Sounds like you have been on the phone. Pastor Taylor and Jim Loo mentioned your calls when I saw them at church. Not sure who, if anyone else, you have talked to but I hope you are discovering new things about Katrina. Doesn't hurt for others close to our family to get to know you also. My wife and I continue to pray for God's direction in your life.


Mr. Rebsch

~~~

Mr Rebsch! Yes, I have been learning all kinds of wonderful new things about Katrina. Everyone that I've spoke to thus far has given a glowing report of Katrina and your family. I spoke with Cindy Powell, Pastor Taylor, and Jim Loo. I left a message with the Riddell family, asking for Tara's number, but I have not heard back from them yet. 

I've had some wonderful conversations. I really appreciated Mr. Loo and his thoughts and insights. It is nice to see that you have such committed and God honoring friends! 

I continue in prayer! I will not move without the Lord going before me, and, of course, your permission. With that said, I certainly believe that getting to know your family and close friends is healthy and the right thing for me to do right now, and so I will continue under your guidance. Thank you so much for the prayers!

Nathan

It wasn't long before December had arrived and with it, Nathan's younger sister, Elizabeth, in town for a Christmas visit. My parents invited the three Brittons over for a meal, allowing them their first meeting some of Nathan's family. To say they had a wonderful time would be an understatement! A few days later, my parents were, in turn, invited to a Christmas celebration the Britton siblings hosted for a few close friends. At that party, they had the opportunity to see Nathan's fun-loving side on full display as he led games for the event. They were also quite captivated with the musical talent that was evident in his family as the evening included much singing and impressive piano playing ability demonstrated by Nathan's brother, Joel. My mom was especially excited to see this musical side shine forth as she has always prayed that God would bring me a musical husband!

All was going wonderfully well. Nathan's Godly character, solid faith, fun-loving personality, and likeminded views on life had convinced my parents, after several months of interaction and prayer, that he might very well be God's man for me. However, they knew nothing could be certain until we had had the chance to meet and spend time getting to know one another in person!

So then the fun began of figuring out the best way to introduce his existence to me upon my arrival home. After everyone (including my sister and her husband who had remained in contact with Nathan via email) went 'round and 'round with a host of ideas, the decision was made by joint brainstorming contributions that the old-fashioned, romantic side of Katrina would love to receive a handwritten letter. Nathan thought flowers would be a nice touch as well.

And so it was that I now found myself sitting on the living room couch, listening to this incredible story that had been unfolding for three months completely unbeknownst to me, and trying desperately to believe this was really happening!

The Smolder

Surreal doesn't even begin to describe it. I had never felt so honored as I felt that night. Honored, first of all, that a young man of this caliber was interested in me, without even having met me! Honored that he willingly approached my dad first, of his own initiative, in order to make his interests known. Honored (and blown away) by the fact that he was willing to call perfect strangers in order to ask questions and get to know me better. And honored by the chivalrous way he had gently introduced himself into my life. Did these kind of stories really still happen?

It was so much to absorb!

After much talk in our living room that night, including a phone call with my sister, my parents showed me pictures of Nathan, emails he had written them, and sermons of him preaching. The more I learned about this young man, the more impressed I was with him.

I went to bed that night, my thoughts spinning. I think the only reason I slept at all was due to sheer exhaustion from international travel...otherwise, I'm sure I would have laid awake all night! As it was, I spent a lot of time that evening and the next morning processing this incredible turn of events and the fact that a guy like Nathan Britton still existed in the world. Hope had been re-awakend in my heart, and I was completely in awe of God.

The next logical step was to meet this amazing young man who had waited so patiently for my homecoming and find out if he was the one for whom I had been waiting and praying all these years...

first valentine

That is actually Part 3 of the beautiful love story God is writing for Katrina. Check out Part 1 and Part 2 to hear the background of the story, or click here to see what happened next...

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Don't Be That Girl #4 & 5: The Perfect One and the Day Time TV Guest

{Michael Vuke}

If you haven't read part one, two, or three in the "Don't Be That Girl" series, go back and read them now!

What do you mean 'emotion'?
Life isn't always perpetually bland
and perfect for you?

Part Four: The Perfect One and the Day Time TV Guest 

The last two types really go together, as different as they are; they are opposite ends on the spectrum of transparency. First up, there is the perfect girl.

Yep, guys avoid “Perfect Girls”. How do you know if you are the Perfect One? If you never show any emotion except for happiness and contentment even when your life is going down the tubes, you are the perfect girl. When you are at a close friend’s funeral, someone tries to comfort you, and your response is: “I’m fine. I don’t need to talk about it.” You are the perfect girl.

Perfect girls never get sad or lonely; they are self-sufficient and happy with their lives (but not really). On the inside, they are hurting and lonely; they experience emotions just like everybody else. Unlike everyone else though, they are ‘too strong’ to let it show. They put on a big happy mask and live a façade. They are a Barbie Doll personified.

Why do we care?

Guys avoid Perfect Girls because you can’t get to know them--there are too many walls in place for any sort of meaningful relationship to develop. Perfect Girls are always hiding something and refusing to trust others with anything, but trust is vital to a friendship. Even if a guy can’t fix your problem, some would be glad to just listen. No one likes being lied to and being given a plastic mannequin for a friend, so we avoid them altogether.

Well, if we avoid Perfect Girls because they never show any emotion or any of the struggles they are experiencing, we must flock to girls who have lots of problems, right? 

No comment necessary.

That brings us to the final type (for now) of girl that guys avoid. The Day-time Talk Show Guest. If you have ever seen an episode of Maury or Jerry Springer, you know exactly what I’m talking about. These girls have more issues than Time magazine, and they flaunt them. As soon as you meet one, you are overwhelmed with information about their problems, emotions, and friend’s problems.

How can you tell if you are one? If you are having a bad day, do you go around wailing and sobbing uncontrollably, clutching the nearest friend for comfort? If you are mad, do you rant to anyone around about that backstabbing little jerk who dared to wear the same shirt as you? If you are one of these girls, whatever you feel, think, or hear will quickly change your mood and get dumped all over your nearest acquaintance. These girls often suffer from the medical condition known as Dramaticus Queeninitus.

Why do we care?

Do I even have to answer this one? Yeah…..no. This isn’t just guys—this is everyone. No one wants to be constantly subjected to every mood swing or bad thing that happens to you. Everyone has some junk in their lives, and we don’t mind listening or helping you remove that junk, but we also aren’t garbage disposals. We have stuff going on in our own lives. Plus, if you are that sort of girl, we can’t entrust any personal details to you, for fear that it would trigger a mood swing or that you would cry/rant/beam about it to your next friend.

Compare those last two girls (the Perfect One and the Day-time TV guest) to the Honest One. This lady isn’t afraid to be real about her life and whatever is happening, but she also knows when the appropriate time and place is to divulge personal information. She is accessible without baring her soul to everyone that walks by. The Honest One also knows what information should be shared with her guy friends, and what information should be reserved for her lady friends. She is balanced, which is something that every girl on the list of girls that guys like has in common. While there is wide variety in personalities, from quiet to adventurous, they all have some form of balance to their lives.

There you have it: 5 types of girls that guys avoid (and 4 types of girls that we like!). I say this on behalf of men everywhere: Please, don’t be that girl.

What are your thoughts on these last two types of girls? Comment below!

Michael Vuke doesn’t want to be that girl. In fact, he rather likes being a guy! He strives to become a well-rounded man, and so is pursuing his varying interests from fashion to camping to learning Japanese. Have any questions about guys/for guys? Tweet it out to @WriteandDream and it may get answered in an article! Michael blogs about his discoveries at michaelvuke.wordpress.com.

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Don't Be That Girl #3: The Crazy One

At this point we are frantically running
for the door.

{by Michael Vuke}

There are a lot of articles out there telling what sort of girl you should be to attract guys; equally important, however, is knowing the type of girl that guys avoid. Here I’ll lay out for you five basic types of girls that we guys avoid like the plague. So far we've covered the Catlady-in-training and the Mother Hen. Please, for all of our sakes, don’t be these girls.

Part 3: The Crazy One

Next on the list of feared and avoided women is the Crazy One. You never know what the Crazy One will do next—one minute she is complaining that you never are serious, the next she is trying to chug a 2-liter. Relient K based their song ‘Mood Rings’ off of her. She has no concept of restraint or inhibitions and will do anything on a dare. Her favorite perfume is “Eau de la Red Flag”.

How do you know if you are the Crazy One?

If people around you eye you warily while laughing at your latest antic, you might be this girl. Do people dare you to do things constantly? Whenever you come out in public, do your friends all whip out their cameras in hopes of catching the next viral video? Do people ask you to speak quieter a lot?

Why do we care?

There are two main reasons: 1. It’s embarrassing to be around someone who at any given moment could jump up on the table and start belting out “Make ‘Em Laugh” from Singing in the Rain (or worse yet, the latest Ke$ha song) 2. We are scared to be around them. Someone who is that unpredictable and crazy usually has emotional issues and could turn on you in a second. It’s kind of like playing hot potato with a hand grenade; however fun it might be at the time, everyone is a little afraid that it will kill them.

The Crazy One would like you to think that she is a different girl. She would like you to think she is the Adventurous One, but there are major differences. The Adventurous One is amazing; she embraces life in all its twists and turns, and seeks to find the wonder in life. She is not foolhardy, nor reckless, but the Adventurous One is also not afraid to take risks. She is not afraid to have fun and do random things, but she can also be serious and strategic when it is appropriate.  The Crazy One makes us want to go away, but the Adventurous One makes us want to join them in their escapades.

What do you do for adventure? Comment below!

Michael Vuke likes to think of himself as an explorer, discovering new things in the world and internally. He has a list of things to do before he gets old, boring, or 30, and is always trying to come up with ways to make daily life interesting. Got any cool ways to spice up your life? Tweet it out to him @WriteandDream. Michael blogs about his discoveries at michaelvuke.wordpress.com.

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